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Friday, May 15, 2009

You really have no idea. None at all. You dont understand neither do you know anything. As if telling you all these would change anything. It hardly would. You are too full of yourself. You think you are always right, never wrong cos you know everything. No doubt yes, you do know alot of things but no one is infallible. You can be wrong at times too. I hate keeping up with this pretence. I wish I dont need to acknowledge you at all. But I cant right, cos you are my----, it's a form of respect isnt it. But dont you know respect is a mutual thing? By throwing ppl's things, is that called showing respect? No. So wad if you are my elder? That doesnt give you any right to throw my things around does it? And so why am I showing you respect. It's an obligation isnt it, the right thing to do, one of the "laws" that state this is how we should treat our---.I think it's right but sometimes it just makes me go against wad I am really thinking inside. I always wondered why munyee and her--- can have such a good and close relationship. Now I know why. That's because her --- acts like someone of the same age as her, perhaps a little older. He seldom acts like a ---, seldom serious about anything. They are like best of friends.Whereas you act like a very very serious---, all the time. Has it ever dawned on you why I am always that impatient whenever I talk to you. Yes, I am not a very patient person. I cant stand someone infront of me walking in a speed that slows me down, it irks me. I like things fast and spontateous. Whenever you talk, you always repeat your points over and over again. You are longwinded and tend to beat around the bush. I already had a little problem communicating with you since last year. Both of us are good"debaters". And I hate your 'i-am-always-right' kinda attitude. Do you have any idea how it pisses me off? So now I know, the rule of the thumb is to not say much or anything extra and unneccesary when talking to you just so as to keep myself safe. It was because I said something extra that lead to this happening. And it dawned on me that you actually have some problems with anger management. Whenever you are agitated, you turn that "wee" bit violent. Perhaps I should get you a punching bag? At least you dont threaten to throw ppl down or turn over tables like my ex-classmate. But still your anger management isnt a very pleasant thing. I dont know whether you might or might not read this, if you do, are you going to come home and throw my things again? And perhaps succeed this time in smashing it? Or yell at me and perhaps even hit me? But mind you, this is my personal space. Where I can really write down wad I really feel, although I very much want to yell back in your face and say all these to you. For the past 16 plus years, I have listened to you most of the time. I got into a good secondary school and got into a good course. i dont smoke i dont do drugs. i dont use vulgarities. I merely use words like 'what the hell' and 'shit'. Compared to others my age, I am considered good already.  Just over such a small incident of not doing wad you wanted me to do, I definitely dont deserve this and so is my laptop. As if telling you all these would change anything. Cos i guess you still feel you are right and I am in the wrong. Perhaps perhaps. We would both think we are right wouldnt we? Definitely. 

I used to use this quote 2 years ago, "The opposite of love isnt hate, it's indifference." I definitely agree.

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